When Words Collide, Sentences Form

Grow Up or Grown Up

One thing that I have decided that is either great or depressing about “growing up” is realizing that you don’t have to feel guilty about the end of something just because you think that it has out-spent it’s usefulness, is no longer convenient, is just annoying or doesn’t match your needs anymore. That “something” could be a relationship, a friendship, a job, your car, your home...anything, really. But I think the most guilt usually comes out of ending relationships or friendships.

I’m not going to sit here and say that I’m perfect at keeping in touch with friends from far away, that’s definitely not the case – especially in the past year or two. But sometimes you can only make so much of an effort before it’s just not worth your time, and more importantly, emotional investment. And you know what, I have really discovered that there’s no need to offer an explanation or feel bad when that person finally wants to chat or tries to apologize...and you don’t feel like going through it.

The other thing that people need to realize, sometimes things in people’s lives change. Yes, I know. It’s rather shocking. A true unveiling of the evils of the modern world, right here in this blog. Whether they move. Or start a new job. Or enter a new relationship. Or enter a new phase in a relationship. Or have a kid. Or get a new hobby. Sometimes, when that happens, you can’t have everything perfect from your “previous” life. As a friend of people who have gone through those changes...I have learned to let them go if the changes in my friends’ lives don’t allow us to have the same bond as before. And vice versa, for sure.

What really irritates me, however, is when my friends that have gone through those changes try to pretend like all is perfect from before...and then put the blame or guilt on the friend "without change" to not try to accommodate all of the new changes in their life. I’m willing to make changes, accommodate your changes, and keep a friendship alive...as long as we’re all of the awareness that change is happening and all is not the same. But if that friend wants to live in a clouded world, thinking that he or she can have everything the same or pretend to act sorry if it’s not...that irritates me. And frankly, I don’t have the time or patience for that anymore.

And in growing up, I guess I have realized that it’s just plain OK to say that...and to move on.

posted by Steph @ 7:39 AM