When Words Collide, Sentences Form

Jammer Power

I didn't know, until yesterday at lunch, how challenging those little aluminum drink pouches could be. To someone who is nearly 30, that is.

To start off, yesterday I ate a semi-picnic lunch with a couple of friends. (We were actually eating left-overs from a meal over the weekend that we had together.) The scene itself was kinda funny...we were eating in this cafe-type area at work where everyone else had little sandwiches and chips and soda on brown trays. We had a giant ceramic bowl of salad, 3 bottles of salad dressing, part of a chocolate mousse pie in a metal pan, and a 10-pack box of Kool Aid Jammers. (See below for example - that's the actual flavor we had, too. And no, the Kool Aid wasn't left over from dinner. That was specially purchased for our picnic-style lunch. We had the adult version of Kool Aid at the real meal...and there wasn't any left. Nor could we probably get away with drinking that during lunch at work. Bummer on both accounts.)

So the meal starts off with just two of us (the third person got there a little late, coming from a meeting), getting everything set up, opening our juice pouches, etc. I'm attempting to get the little straw out of the child-proof plastic wrapping when I notice my friend struggling with sticking the straw in the little dot. I start to feel sympathetic and think back to my own days as a kid in our motor home attempting to stick the straw in the Capri Sun pouch that my sister and I got. (It was a huge treat back then, we never got those things...only on these summer family trips.) Then I realized that I was something like 10 when I struggled with the straw-into-pouch action...not almost 30. And I found the scene hilarious.

Eventually my friend gave up and I opened his juice pouch for him. Then I proceeded to extract my straw from it's own little plastic hell, and opened my own juice pouch. And lunch began. The third person arrived, and we settled in for our picnic lunch.

After a discussion about how much juice is actually in one of those little pouches, (the basic thought was that those little pouches held more than one thought they could, or something like that. I didn't really offer an opinion, I was too busy giggling because A) little aluminum juice pouches apparently entertain me and B) the analysis going on was pretty funny, too.) it was time for a refill. This time, the newly arrived friend attempted to teach the friend who struggled with the pouch-opening how to open his own juice pouch. As opposed to my reaction the first time - just laughing. Apparently the other friend is a better person and understands the concept of "if you give a man a fish, he eats for a day...teach a man to fish, he eats for life." I mean, if you think about it...he is going to have to have this skill someday...there may not always be someone around to open his juice pouch for him...and if he doesn't have scissors and a glass to pour it into, he's going to get really thirsty.

The tutorial failed miserably. Throughout the process, I couldn't stop laughing (and of course, as a result, struggled to get the straw out of it's plastic casing), and I had this fear of one of the two great errors in opening an aluminum juice pouch occurring:

1. The straw is sent horizontally through not only the little hole, but also through the back of the pouch, creating two holes.

2. Squeezing of the pouch takes place at the same time as the straw finally, and successfully, gets into the pouch and bright red Kool Aid shooting all over the cafe.

However, ultimately - the little aluminum pouch just collapsed on the table in defeat - fully sealed. So our professorial friend opened the pouch this time.

After the excitement of the moment ceased, and we completed pouch #2, it became time for our final refill. Our friend was going to have one of us open it for him again, but I pointed out that third time is the charm, and he should give it one more go. And he did...and guess what...HE OPENED IT ALL BY HIMSELF!

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is, or if there is even one. But picture that scene in your head, and you, too, will cry at the hilarity.

posted by Steph @ 1:59 AM