When Words Collide, Sentences Form

Stripped...uh...I mean "ripped"...from the headlines...

These headlines were all on today's internet news. No joke. You can't make these headlines up out of thin air. They have to come from somewhere. What a great Monday.

* "Cops Stop Willie Nelson's Bus. See What They Discovered Inside." (Well, that's what AOL's headline is, but I can only link to MSNBC for the story because you need a password for AOL.) I don't know, guess what they found inside. You get as many guesses as you want, but I'm only counting one and I'm not telling you which one.

* "'Walking' Shark Found" "Walking?" Have you seen the video of this thing? It doesn't walk. It is a low-swimming, bottom-feeding fish whose flippers hit the sea floor as it scuttles along the sand. Walking shark, right. Like something like that really exists.

* "Mexican Meth Fills Gap in U.S. Market" Another example of out-sourcing since all of the home-grown plants in our country got shut down. (Tongue in cheek, thank you very much. Sarcasm, etc., etc. No angry emails, please.)

* "Autopsy: [Anna Nicole] Smith's Son on Antidepressants" As sad as the whole story is - I have to say "Ummmmm...I wonder why??"

* "Janet Jackson's Breasts Are Back" Where did they go?? I have absolutely no idea what this story is about because I'm not going to bother to read it. And nor do I want to know what it's about.

* "Is pump price drop tied to Nov. elections?" Ummm...no freaking sh**. That's all I have to say. Other than at the beginning of September in a "blue" state, the price of gas was near $3. Today, at the expensive stations near work - $2.19. Hmmm. You look at the date. I bet it's under $2 by middle October. And you can sure bet I'll be filling up. And then NOT voting Republican.

* "Rose never expected ‘I’m sorry’ balls to be sold" Of course he didn't. What guy does?? Once again, I have absolutely no idea what this story is about - other than it's about Pete Rose. And frankly, I really don't want to know because my imagination is better than any story I could read to go along with that headline. This is a prime example of headlines not being read twice before it is put up. Ooops...bad pun!! Yet I have read it way more than twice, that's for sure! And I have to admit that yes, I am just THAT immature. And I think that is the perfect headline on which I shall end.

In a completely separate note, I'm watching the WAY over-hyped "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" and it is horrible. Although it does seem to have half of the people (whether regular cast or special guests) from "West Wing" - but they had better writing on "West Wing." I have no freaking clue what is going on, and that's not because I'm not paying attention..and surprise, surprise - Matthew Perry is playing a character hopped up on drugs. Hmmm. Role play much?

posted by Steph @ 6:28 PM