When Words Collide, Sentences Form

The most important thing in the bathroom...

I'm in Denver, CO at a hotel right now. I wandered out amongst the city today for work, and then returned to my home-away-from-home, dropped off my bag and purse by the bed, hit "power" on the TV, and went into the bathroom.

Housekeeping had invaded my room after I departed today, organizing my stuff on the bathroom counter, much more neatly than I ever would on a soft white washcloth; remaking my bed, which I will promptly mess up by sitting on it; and restocking my little coffee maker, which I will unstock in the morning. Soon after establishing myself in the bathroom, I noticed that the toilet paper roll was missing. Yes, MIA.

Normally if you run out of toilet paper, there's an empty roll on the little bar. However, there was nothing. Not even a bar. There was this big gaping hole where a toilet paper bar covered in a cardboard roll and white paper should be. The bar was laying innocently on the sink, near my toothbrush. Without a roll of toilet paper to be seen anywhere.

Which left me with the infamous back-up - tissues. We all know how much this sucks. Tissues just aren't the same as toilet paper in this case...much the same way that toilet paper is not a good substitute for tissues. The lotion creeps you out (or maybe that's just me), they are either too thin or too thick, and they dissolve. But sometimes, there's nothing else to do.

So I used the substitute tissues, and went to the phone and dialed "0" for the hotel operator. "Front desk, how may I help you?" "Umm, can you send someone to my room with a roll of toilet paper, please? I think house keeping took mine and didn't replace it." "OK, I'll call house keeping right away." "Thank you."

I waited, and waited. I waited so long I had to go to the bathroom again. So I grabbed my key and wandered out into the hallway, hoping to run into housekeeping. Sure enough, I found her. I walked up and asked for a roll of toilet paper. She kinda looked at me funny since she had just cleaned my room. I said, "Well, there's no toilet paper on the roll." I was trying not to accuse her of stealing my toilet paper (although I did want to ask why she took away the half of a roll that was left...seems wasteful to me!), but she seemed to think it was weird that I wanted toilet paper.

I repeated that the roll was empty in my room, and she said, "Did you check the closet?" I looked at her like she was crazy and said, "No." Seriously - did I check the closet?? No, although I guess that is the first place I should always think to look for toilet paper when housekeeping steals my toilet paper. What kind of cruel joke is that? Like a sick treasure hunt?

Anyway, much to everyone's relief, I'm sure, I have toilet paper again. And I checked the closet, there is a spare roll in there, so I'll be ok the next time my toilet paper disappears.

posted by Steph @ 11:52 AM