When Words Collide, Sentences Form

Globbing

The Golden Globes are on…which as you know, means that it is time to make fun of people, just ‘cause I can.

George Clooney just gained major points in my book– his acceptance speech for his award for Syriana was classic and awesome. Kinda loosely quoted: “I want to thank Jack Abramoff. I don’t know what for. I just want to. Who would name their kid ‘Jack’ when his last name ends in ‘off?’ No wonder the guy’s screwed up.” And how much money do you want to put on that being the most replayed clip of the night during tomorrow’s news and entertainment shows? That opening award presentation/acceptance hooked me on the show for the evening – there will be no switching over to the Bachelor in Paris tonight.

Could Natalie Portman look any less amused or thrilled to be there? Adrian Brody is grinning from ear to ear, probably because he looks like he does and still gets to stand next to people like Natalie Portman in public. And Portman looks like she wants to give Brody a giant papercut with the envelope. Which she incompetently opened by basically tearing it in half.

They have only presented one award and I’m already voting this the best-for-amusement-and-making-fun-of-people Golden Globes ever.

Sandra Oh has watched a few too many replays of “dramatic” acceptances. Chill out.

This may be the year of great acceptance speeches, or at least funny ones:
Geena Davis – Funny joke about influencing young girls. Totally unexpected. Didn’t know she had it in her!
Guy from “House” – Just plain funny. I wish I knew his name. He has awesome eyes.
Steve Carrell – Sweetly saluting his wife and joking about it all in one. Freaking hilarious, too.
Guy with the British accent who played Elvis in some show about Elvis – (Ooops, guess it is an Irish accent since he just thanked his family back home in Ireland) Not really a great speech, but he thanked his girlfriend. No legal relationship, no need to thank the chic!

It’s possible that Chris Rock may have alienated or pissed off everyone in Hollywood – regardless of which jokes were funny or not, depending on your political/social inclinement (is that a word…hmmm. If not, I am submitting it to Webster). Oh well!

Thank goodness none of the stupid housewives won for the award they were all nominated for. I don’t get the draw to that show.

I’m not sure if that weird British woman that was introducing Pride & Prejudice was joking or if she is really upset about not being in the film and changed the script on them…

Ummm, I haven’t heard of half of these shows or TV movies that are getting nominated for everything over and over again.

The girl sitting next to Zack Braff (or whatever his name is - guy from "Scrubs") looks like she wants to slug all of the presenters when they show her as they walk on. Ummm…smile…you know you’re on TV!

How does a guy who still uses a typewriter to write scripts manage to work on such a “forward-thinking” movie (“forward-thinking” according to all of the great critics who have never seen a show or movie about gay people before)?

Josh Duhamel is still on “the list.”

“Desperate Housewives” – STILL ANNOYING. More annoying than “Sex in the City” ever was. I never got that show, either. I think that Eva Longoria and whichever other one she is sitting next to that is not Terri Hatcher may kiss each other before the night is over.

I love when the person who accepts the award for best foreign language film can’t speak English well enough to thank anyone. Let the poor guy speak in his native tongue and translate it really quickly.

Matthew McConaughey may make “the list.” Not yet though. Someday, possibly. He’s working his way up to it though. He was great in “A Time to Kill.” Yes, I know that was a long time ago – but still ranks as his best performance. He’s had a lot of bad ones.

Two of the movies nominated for best motion picture have tennis in them. I haven't heard of either movie.

The Golden Globe awards (and any awards show, actually) are really just long commercials for upcoming films/albums/etc. I wonder how much films and stuff pay to have their stars as presenters?

Ok, it’s gotten slow for a while in this grand awards show. I’m finally actually posting this ‘cause I’m giving up on getting anything else funny/amusing/worthy of ridicule.

posted by Steph @ 7:12 PM